The Balaton Monks

Isti: Did she give you the old "We're better as friends?" Or "I just need a little space right now?" ... I'll take a photo, okay? This one's nice. I know it's painful now, but in a couple of years you'll be glad to have a record of it.

Dávid: C'mon guys, we've all been dumped by girls before.

Isti: True enough.

Dávid: Andrew, you need to embrace your monkhood, like us. Join the monastery; am I right, Brother Isti?

Isti: I don't know if we want any Sad Sack monks; he's kind of bringing me down.

Dávid: No, no, you're wrong -- Andrew just needs time for reflection. It might be time for a spiritual retreat.

Isti: Balaton-style?

Dávid: Could be.

Isti: Don't worry, the initiation isn't that bad.

Music.

Isti: Was that really necessary? I hope I won't have to look at your sad face all weekend long. Okay, you broke up; I understand that you loved her, but apart from that, you should be happy that it's finally over with that girl. She wasn't a good match for you; you just suffered in this relationship -- it didn't work, and you have to accept it. I understand she was a babe and you had the hots for her, but I'm telling, seriously: I never really liked her.

Andrew: Shut the fuck up.

Dávid: Alright, certain topics are off-limit this weekend: the first one is Dori. And women in general.

Andrew: Amen.

Music.

Dávid: Bianka?

Bianka: Hi Dávid!

Dávid: Hi, are you camping here?

Bianka: No, we just came for a swim. I'm staying at my grandparents' house -- just up the hill.

Dávid: You know Isti and Andrew?

Bianka: Yes, of course. Hi!

Isti: Hello.

Andrew: Hi.

Bianka: How's Dori?

Andrew: Well...

Isti: Bad news.

Bianka: Oh no; did you break up?

Isti: That's why we're out here: to try to get his mind off it.

Bianka: How long are you staying?

Dávid: Just for the weekend; do a little fishing, maybe some hiking.

Bianka: Sounds fun.

Isti: Are you around?

Bianka: Yeah; I'm just up there babysitting most of the time, but you should stop by if you want to. Look for the house with the basketball hoop.

Isti: Alright.

Bianka: Well, we have to get back for dinner. See ya!

Isti: What?

Dávid: What are you looking at?

Isti: Looking is allowed.

Dávid: We're monks, remember?

Isti: Even monks can look.

Fishing.

Dávid: What are they using over there? Can you see?

Isti: This place sucks; I'm gonna try on the other side.

Dávid: At this rate, we're not going to have anything at all to eat tonight. I'm gonna see if I can find a grocery store around here.

Bianka's house.

Andrew: Hi Bianka!

Bianka: Are you having a good trip?

Andrew: It's okay.

Bianka: Is it helping you get over your breakup with Dori?

Andrew: It's hard. Isti and Dávid both have girlfriends, so it's hard for them to understand what it's like to be alone. Do you have a boyfriend?

Bianka: No, no.

Andrew: So you probably understand better than they do.

Bianka: You think so? ... Do you want something to drink? Cola, Fanta, orange juice?

Andrew: A cola would be good.

Bianka: Alright, have a seat; and keep an eye on Gillian for me, okay?

Isti: Hey asshole!

Andrew: Who's there?

Bianka: Where's Gillian?

Dávid: Hi Bianka!

Bianka: Oh, here you are, Gilli!

Isti: What are you doing here?

Andrew: I thought you were fishing; and I thought you went to get groceries.

Dávid: I was going to, but then the campground office said you had a message.

Andrew: A message? From who?

Dávid: Dori.

Andrew: From Dori!? What'd she say?

Dávid: I didn't read it; anyway, what do you care?

Andrew: I should probably go down and see what she wants.

Bianka: You don't want your cola?

Andrew: No thanks; I gotta get going.

Dávid: See ya, Bia.

Bianka: Bye.

On the road.

Andrew: I wonder what she wants.

Dávid: Forget about her, she's bad news.

Andrew: Maybe she's changed her mind, who knows.

Dávid: Look, Andrew, there's no message; we just made that up.

Andrew: You fuckers! Why'd you tell me there was a message?

Isti: Why'd you tell Bianka we had girlfriends?

Andrew: I knew it! You guys were spying on me!

Dávid: Well, it seems to have been justified.

Andrew: I'm the one who needs comfort; didn't we come here for my sake?

Isti: Don't pull that shit; I knew Bianka first anyway.

Dávid: What does that matter? I know her better than either of you.

Isti: It's about priority.

Dávid: Fuck your priority.

Andrew: But I'm the one who's hurting!

Fishing.

Fisherman: How's fishing?

Isti: Shit.

Bianka: Any luck?

Dávid: Not too bad.

Isti: Yeah, pretty good actually.

Bianka: Well, we're going swimming if anyone wants to join us.

Isti: Okay.

Bianka: Bye.

Dávid: You know that Zen Buddhist monks can have wives?

Isti: And girlfriends too?

Dávid: I guess.

Andrew: And sex?

Isti: That's my kind of monastery.

Credits.